A short musical paraphrase inspired by “Instructions for Making Yourself Unhappy” by Paul Watzlawick
Introduction
Why should a concert, a competition or an exam ever “go well”?
Have you ever seriously considered what might happen if one of these public performances actually turned out to be successful?
The most insidious risk in a musician’s life is the danger of being satisfied with oneself.
Isn’t it common knowledge that real artists are never satisfied with themselves? Even when they are standing in front of an enthusiastic audience, deep down they secretly feel they have not given enough, that they could have done better and more. After all, this is an absolutely necessary thought for an artist, in order never to settle and to keep striving for perfection — which, as everyone knows, can never be reached.
Being satisfied, after all, is a weakness to be ashamed of, rather like admitting: “I could not have done better than this.”
But what if, by mistake, you occasionally gave in to the temptation to feel some pleasure and satisfaction with yourself? You might become attached to this unhealthy feeling, forget that the path of music is hard and full of thorns, delude yourself into thinking you are good, and lose touch with reality.
In short, it is far better to avoid this problem in advance by preparing yourself, from now on, for a lifetime of dissatisfaction.
Another dramatic danger lies in every successful human activity: receiving admiration and recognition from others.
How could you possibly bear the crushing weight of the expectations of an audience or a jury? Just imagining yourself playing would paralyse you. You would no longer be allowed to make a single mistake; you would always have to be perfect and live up to expectations. And, as a cruel twist, you would finally be forced to accept that success can never be guaranteed everywhere, at any time and under any circumstances.
And if, in an exam, you were to receive a good mark, or someone told you that you have talent, you would be dangerously close to catastrophe.
All the solid certainties you have patiently built up, day after day and at the cost of painful emotional shocks, might collapse. Objective and unquestionable realities such as:
“Nowadays it is impossible to make a living from music,”
“There are so many pianists better than me,”
or, more realistically,
“If you haven’t played Brahms’s Second Concerto by the age of eight, you might as well give up.”
Absolute truths that cannot simply be abandoned lightly, giving up their sad but comforting reassurance. No, it is much better to remain faithful to your healthy realism and live your musical life perhaps frustrated, but comforted by the inner certainty of being right.
And, of course, with proper gratitude towards those (teachers, older colleagues, music critics, uncles and aunts…) who have instilled these healthy values in you with firm and righteous discipline.
What would happen if many people started questioning truths that had been reached and taught at the cost of entire lives filled with suffering and disappointment?
Many might start believing that everything had been wrong, reject their past and their teachers, and chase the unhealthy madness of enjoying playing, no longer cultivating the necessary torment that characterises the life of a true musician. Even worse, they might encourage innocent young people to study the piano, creating widespread confusion.
All this requires that we do not simply let a concert, a competition or an exam turn out as they will, but that we commit ourselves with all our strength to make sure they fail, rigorously and scientifically avoiding these frightening consequences.
Here, then, are some useful exercises to cultivate and refine this indispensable art, and to avoid ever slipping, even unintentionally, onto the dangerous path of success.
Warning
If, despite your best efforts and dedication, you still fail to obtain satisfactory results, remember that there is always a backup solution — the easiest one, with excellent and statistically proven results: find good excuses for not practising and not preparing properly; then blame your teacher, the jury, your parents, the musical world and, above all, destiny.
Exercise 1 Keep negative experiences from the past firmly in your mind
Recall a past episode in which you played in front of others and something went wrong. Remember precisely the feelings of fear, anxiety or panic you experienced, and the negative comments you received. Focus on the wrong or messy passages and on memory lapses, with the calm awareness that what really matters is not remembering the exact mistakes, but being able to reproduce at will the feelings of humiliation and frustration you experienced.
Avoid allowing any pleasant or positive memory to surface. Carefully remove from your mind any encouragement or appreciation you may have received and, above all, forget any sensible advice that might have been given to help you change. In this way you will avoid the risk that things might go differently next time.
Exercise 2 Focus on other people’s judgements
If you are preparing for an exam or a competition, it is essential to keep your attention constantly and intensely focused on the members of the jury.
Immediately give up any personal and insignificant musical ideas of your own, and try instead to adapt as much as possible to what you think — or have been told — their ideas might be.
If you know any of them, try to remember whether they have previously made a negative comment about you, so that you can practise magnifying it. Or recall any criticism they may have addressed to someone else, in order to prepare yourself to receive similar judgments.
Find out about their interests and preferences so you can discover the personal reasons they will surely have for failing or eliminating you.
You can apply the same method to the audience at a concert, preferably focusing on people you consider particularly “competent”, or on music critics.
If you do not know any, ask envious and gossiping people what they think. (Envious people are far more reliable, because unlike your friends they have no hesitation in telling you the truth.)
And if nobody can provide sufficiently terrifying clues, let your imagination run free — and remember: reality always exceeds imagination.
Exercise 3 Distract your attention from the present moment
While you practise, always think about what you have just played — preferably a wrong or unresolved passage — or focus on a passage that is still to come, which you consider difficult, or better yet, insurmountable.
Spend as much time as possible worrying about future commitments and listing everything you cannot yet play and will most likely never be able to play.
In this way you will be sure not to keep your attention and energy on the music.
If this exercise proves difficult, try to divert your attention in other ways: think about the latest football championship, the last film you saw, or your partner.
Exercise 4 Compare yourself in a destructive way
Listen frequently to colleagues or fellow students whom you consider better than yourself. Attend concerts by famous musicians who play the same repertoire as you and listen to many recordings — without falling into the mistake of taking inspiration from them.
The only truly useful purpose of comparison is to highlight your flaws and limitations as clearly as possible, so that you can remember that you will never be able to play like them..
Exercise 5 — Engage in destructive comparison
Use platforms such as YouTube or Spotify to listen to polished, flawless recordings of the pieces you are studying. Compare them meticulously — tempo, accuracy, control — leaving no detail unexamined.
Whenever you hear colleagues or fellow students who play better than you, seize the opportunity to highlight your own limitations and flaws with maximum clarity.
Repeat to yourself, several times if necessary, that you will never be able to play like them.
Exercise 6 Train yourself to make negative predictions
Before any important moment in your musical life, it is good practice always to imagine the worst, in order to avoid disappointment — and to repeat it to yourself several times.
Try to imagine meaningful situations: memory lapses that prevent you from continuing and perhaps force you to leave the stage, panic attacks that paralyze your fingers, and so on.
In this way, in addition to enjoying all the benefits of a negative outcome, you will also experience the classic satisfaction of those who can proudly say: “I knew it would happen.”
Exercise 7 Practise mechanicallyBefore your performance, avoid any opportunity to verify your overall level of preparation. Focus on the tiniest details and try to practise in a repetitive and mechanical way, so that your potential creativity does not risk emerging and the music does not start to flow naturally and spontaneously.
Remember that if something does not work, it is only because you have not repeated it enough — and always in exactly the same way.
Keep your whole body rigid and tense at all times. To help yourself, think about how difficult the pieces you are playing are.
Coda: If, despite all your effort and dedication, you still fail to obtain satisfactory results, remember that there is always a backup solution — the easiest one, guaranteed and scientifically proven:
find convincing excuses for not committing yourself and not preparing adequately; then shift the blame onto external factors — the time available, your teacher, the jury, your parents, or even a defective instrument. And if none of these explanations seem sufficient, you can always rely on the most definitive ones: genetics or destiny.
